


Bad Girls Gone Good

by misura



Category: Burn Notice, White Collar
Genre: Gen, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-25
Updated: 2011-04-25
Packaged: 2017-11-10 02:01:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/461002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"I can get you a good deal on some explosives," Fiona (no last names, please, </i>thank you<i>) tells Kate, and it probably says something about Mozzie that up until then, he's neither been paying much attention nor been entirely clear on what he's doing here.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Girls Gone Good

"I can get you a good deal on some explosives," Fiona (no last names, please, _thank you_ ) tells Kate, and it probably says something about Mozzie that up until then, he's neither been paying much attention nor been entirely clear on what he's doing here.

Kate's a girl; Fiona's a girl; Mozzie - well, he could be a girl, certainly, if the situation calls for it, but it's not his default setting, so to speak. Nature hasn't equipped him with the stuff one needs to participate in the social ritual commonly referred to as 'girl talk'.

Of course, nature hasn't exactly equipped him with the stuff one needs to deal with people like Fiona, either. She reminds him of Keller, except that where Keller is a crazy person who finds joy in making other people fear him, Fiona is a crazy person who finds joy in blowing things up.

Fear is easier to fake than explosions.

With that in mind, Mozzie squeaks: " _Explosives_?". He's a great squeaker - very naturally sounding. It helps that Mozzie really doesn't think blowing anything up to get Neal out of prison is a good idea.

Kate kicks him under the table. There was some sort of plan, Mozzie thinks - a briefing, if you will. He's reasonably sure it did not involve her kicking him in a place where Fiona can't see.

Kate was never quite as talented at improvising as Neal was. Is. Will be, once they get him out of prison.

"Your new boyfriend?" Fiona asks, not so much undressing him with her eyes as strip-searching him.

Kate giggles, high and sharp and coming entirely too close to sounding like she's about have a mental breakdown. Mozzie tells himself she'd never let things get that bad without telling him; she knows she can trust him; they've worked together plenty of times; they both love Neal very much; she's simply a far better actress than he gives her credit for most of the time.

"I'm gay," Mozzie says, with a perfectly vague smile he's been practicing since he was six years old.

Had he been looking at Kate instead of at Fiona, he might have missed the flash of a thought reflected in her eyes, her reclassification of Neal as 'heterosexual' to 'bisexual with a questionmark'. It's a little unsettling. Mozzie feels crazy people should not be allowed to also be smart - even if, of course, she's basing her conclusion on false facts. Even so.

"I thought gay men were supposed to have excellent taste and a fabulous sense of style." Fiona glances sideways at Kate, who is sitting still and pale.

Mozzie smiles. Small talk is well within his capabilities, at least. "Indeed we do," he says. He's only wearing his second-best shirt but style is far less about _what_ your wear and much more about _how_ you wear it. Neal can look stylish while naked - Alex can look like a perfectly seducable loose woman in a seven-hundred dollar dress.

Kate - well, Kate has her moments. Neal isn't a complete idiot, most of the time.

"Exceptions," Kate says. "Rules."

Fiona smiles. It makes Mozzie feel like he should duck for cover or something like that. "Of course. Well then. About those explosives."

Kate shakes her head. "No. Mozzie's right."

Fiona frowns lightly. That also makes Mozzie feel like he should duck for cover or something. She's simply that kind of woman, he thinks. Makes him wonder about this Michael guy she's supposedly involved with. He must be either truly oblivious or - well, no, Mozzie can't really imagine anyone enjoying living with someone like Fiona. The sex might be spectacular, though.

"I'm sorry," Kate goes on. "I should - " and then she buries her face in her hands, not sobbing and doing it loudly enough for even Mozzie to be taken in for a few moments, before reason reassserts itself.

Fiona reaches out to gingerly pat Kate's shoulder. It's a measure of Kate's talent. Mozzie knows that if he'd been the one heroically not-sobbing, she wouldn't have so much as raised an eyebrow.

"We should go shopping." Fiona says, her tone the opposite of unkind, while she proceeds to prove she is, indeed, a woman by making a tissue appear out of nowhere and handing it to Kate, who accepts it. "How does that sound, hm? A nice little shopping spree."

Mozzie gets visions of carnage and stores burning down, but Kate is already bobbing her head, so that's that - the women go shopping, while the man goes off to do manly things.

Fiona picks up her jacket. "You can carry the bags. Make yourself useful."

"I - " Mozzie says, then realizes he's too young to die. "Yes. Of course."


End file.
